A Reflection of Him
The first time my once fiancé broke up with me, I had someone tell me that what happened to me was not a reflection of me.
The second time my once fiancé broke up with me, those words became null and void, considering we all know the saying: “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.”
His abrupt departure didn’t make sense. We became friends in college, we dated after graduation, we broke up and made up, then spent the rest of our time getting to know each other to the point of love in the form of a brilliant 5-stone marquis diamond ring. So, I needed to know: “What was so horrible about me that I made my own fiancé not want to marry me?”
What happened was a reflection of me: failure, disappointment, misfortune. I lost the opportunity to make my once fiancé that “swing for the fences, luckiest kid on the planet” kind of happy, and that was on me…until I decided it was not.
I am not those harsh and degrading words, nor are my hardships a reflection of me. They are a reflection of God’s love for me.
There is so much peace in the love of the Father. That means that no matter the circumstances, I can stand firm in the loving promises of God for power and provision. I find myself whispering the peace of Psalm 3:3 as a chant or mantra, whether full of anxiety or floating in serenity: “But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.”
*Read that again*
The Lord as a shield is more than physical protection – it’s protection of the heart. Rather than hardening myself toward life’s tragedies and cruelties, the Lord softens my heart in forgiveness, empathy, and compassion. His shield holds the world at bay while His hand holds me close, so that my heart may have the capacity to grow in wisdom, stature, and favor with him and those He places in my path.
The Lord as my glory is hope and redemption. Nothing and no one makes me. I am made in God’s image, and all of His great splendor dwells in my heart. Therefore, I can’t be a failure, disappointment, or anyone’s misfortune. God, and God alone, makes me - completes me - through the work of His hand and His breath in my lungs. I am beauty; I am honor; I am victory. I glory in His glory.
The Lord as the lifter is for the revealing of all His many blessings. In one fell swoop, I lost people I thought I would have for a lifetime. And in one step of faith, day by day, the Lord surrounded me with the most kind, caring, and uplifting people I can count on for a lifetime. In my grief, the Lord had to lift me from myself, and the coiling deception of the enemy, to be with people who spoke Truth over me and swaddled me in love. In lifting my head, I come face to face with the Lord, receiving all comfort, grace, confidence, and joy for the days ahead – no matter the circumstances around me.
My friends, the only thing I was fooled into thinking was shame on me for what happened to me, and the way things played out before me. But I want you to really lean in, right here: Don’t you ever be ashamed for loving someone with the love of Jesus – whether platonic or romantic. In the reflection of my hindsight, I can see all the miraculous ways I have been lavish with the most protective, glorious, and uplifting love we could ever know; and this world so desperately needs. It is a blessing to love, even when you can’t see it, and it feels a lot more like burning your dignity.
Love because Jesus first loved you.
Love because it covers a multitude of sins.
Love because it sets you FREE…and that, my friends, is going to look so so good on you.
