The Paradox of Sacrifice
Three months my relationship spiraled out of control with my once fiancé. A switch completely flipped between us. Yet, the show had to go on. We loved each other. And love meant sacrifice. Therefore, everything was going to work out and be perfectly fine.
I was willing to lay down anything for whatever he wanted: wedding date, venue, guest list, where to live, etc. I laid down my pride, desires, impatience, frustrations, and one weary and worn-out heart. I continued to do this because that’s what I believed love to be. I did it all because I believed the lie that I didn’t have a choice - He gave me a ring. I said yes. We had to get married.
Not only would this be seen as the right thing to do, but it would also be pleasing in the Lord’s sight. And if loving others glorifies the Lord, then sacrifice must honor Him, right? But I have discovered this paradox of sacrifice in the verse of Hosea 6:6, “For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.”
Chapter 6 of Hosea is entitled, “Come, Let Us Return to the Lord.” It details how the Israelites had their hearts in two places, therefore missing God’s heart and His desire for the love of the Israelites over their “righteous rituals.” They were so focused on the outward appearance of obeying the laws of God they did not focus on the inward treasure of a person actively and purposefully loving God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Marriage is full of love and sacrifice, yes. But it was not the kind of love and sacrifice that God was calling me to demonstrate. God desired my genuine, undivided love for Him over my tired efforts and offerings to honor Him in my relationship with my once fiancé. He wanted me to long for Him and the person of Jesus, rather than His abilities to fix my broken relationship, simply to fulfill marital traditions of covenant.
i.e., my own “righteous rituals.”
We can get so caught up in doing the “right thing“ that we forget about the main thing. Above all else and anyone else, we have been created to share in this unique and intimate relationship with the Lord, where He is far more concerned with our heart’s desire for Him than all the ways we strive to please Him. Because sometimes it’s really about obedience and worship in relationship with the Father, before sacrifice and honor in works that He cannot and will not bless.
My friends, if it is drawing you closer to Jesus, to a knowledge of Him and the intimacy of His steadfast love, then press into that and the treasure you will find waiting for you. But if it is total burn out, draining you of who you are in Christ and what you know to be true, know that you are allowed to walk away. You don’t have to make excuses for yourself or anyone else anymore.
You have a choice.
